A Clean Heart Create for Me, O God

By Carolanne Kilichowski

Did you ever meet someone special that you knew for a short time but stayed in your heart the rest of your life? I did. My story begins as I was ministering to patients at Hospice. Every Wednesday evening we would gather for a Communion service for those who were able to be out of bed, and to attend to others at their bedside in prayer and Communion.

One day as we prayed with this most beautiful lady, MaryAnn, my heart overflowed with warm love. There was just something in this woman's eyes that drew me to her. I found myself going back to her when the others left, since I wanted to speak with her or pray with her if she wanted. I noticed prayer books on her night stand, so I assumed she led a prayerful life. Her sense of humor was wonderful and often I teased her just to make her laugh.

On one Sunday I went just to see how she was doing and to introduce her to my friend. She was having difficulty breathing and asked me to pray for her. I held her hand and prayed some prayers with her finding it very hard not to cry. I could see the fear of dying in this woman's eyes. I placed her name on prayer chains and made her my priority in prayer. I wanted so much for her to live and enjoy life. She seemed much too young to be going through all this pain and agony.

Since my heart was drawing me to her I would come in early just to go and visit with her before we came in with the group. Many times I came back to her room at the end of the evening just to kiss and hug her goodnight. I was getting attached to her and I knew I would have to let go someday and let her go to God.

One evening I went to look for her in her room and she was not there. She was in another room in isolation since she now had a respiratory infection. I was not ready to give her up. I wanted to enjoy this new friendship! I begged God to give me a little more time with her. I asked her if she ever heard of Medjugorje. She told me that she did hear something one time but really did not know much. I sat down by her bed and told her the whole story. I told her all the main messages, how it started, and how I was going to Medjugorje for the fourth time in October which was maybe four weeks away! I told her I would pray for her on the top of Cross Mountain on her birthday! This really made her so very happy to know that. The following week, I had this overwhelming urge to take MaryAnn a medal from Medjugorje. I had a handful of them waiting to go to Hospice and to give to the patients. I kept walking out the door without them. This time, something in my heart told me I must take one especially for MaryAnn.

I went straight to her room and she was not doing so well. She asked me to pray for her, saying she needed a lot of help. I was scared because she really struggled to breathe even though she was out of isolation. I told her that I brought her a special gift and that it was a medal from Medjugorje. She asked me to put it around her neck. She cried with all of her heart. She was so deeply moved by this medal. MaryAnn then asked me to close the door since she had something to ask me. I could not imagine what it was she was going to tell me. She asked me what she should do since there were things in her life she had done and never told a priest. I told her that she should go to confession to a priest as soon as she could, and that if she said yes, I would arrange it. She said she did not know how to tell him. I told her that the priest has heard it all and that God has already forgiven her since she has such a deep sorrow for her sins. I advised her to ask the priest for a general confession and that he would ask her questions, whereby making it easier for her to say whatever was in her heart. She said, OK and she was so relieved already that a solution would resolve her troubled heart.

The next day the priest came and MaryAnn found it very easy to confess all that was bothering her.

She thanked me the next day since she was like a new woman. I went to her that following day and I could not believe my eyes. She had her hair done and went to dinner with her family! She actually went out of the building. MaryAnn had about two or three weeks of a new life. I certainly enjoyed them since we told each other stories of our lives and made each other laugh. She liked to call me her "church lady" and I got a real kick out of that.

The days got closer to my trip and MaryAnn started to fail once again. This time it was much more serious. I knew she was going to God very soon. I held her hand and kissed her and loved her. The day before I left for my trip, I received a phone call from the family telling me that MaryAnn had died in peace. Since I could not attend her funeral I asked our priest to offer Mass for her on the same day she was buried at home. On her birthday I was up on Cross Mountain crying and praying for her new birth into Heaven, happy knowing that I now had a special friend in Heaven !